Does That Make Sense?

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent.  If you’re not too sure what Lent is all about, this descriptionwill help.  As I prepare my heart for Easter, I plan to give up a part of my daily routine in order to remind me of the suffering that Christ endured for me.  Last year, I gave up facebook.  At first, I missed it, but within a few days, it wasn’t really a big deal.  This year I wanted a constant reminder, something that would impact my daily routine and something that wouldn’t wear off after a few days. 

After thinking about it for a while, I came up with a plan.  Well, I might have come up with it.  It could have just been God placing it in my head…most of “my” best ideas are actually words from Him.  I also decided to not really make a big deal out of it.  It’s not a secret, but I’m not going to have a parade either.  Luke 4 and Matthew 4 both discuss Jesus’ 40 days in the wilderness and it doesn’t say much about what happened before he went.  He was baptised and then led into the desert by the Spirit.  In this case Spirit is speaking of the Holy Spirit, a part of the trinity.  I was confused at first because I’ve also been led into the desert, but it was by Mapquest, NOT a part of the trinity.  Still, I digress.  Nowhere does it say that Jesus was like “Hey guys, guess what I’m giving up.  See what an awesome Christian I am?  SEE?”  I imagine Jesus just kind of did it and then 40 days later he came back and started preaching. 

I doubt I’ll be calling fisherman out of a boat in 40 days, but I do hope to be a changed person by the time Easter gets here.  Wouldn’t it be great if we were all truly transformed during Lent?  Each time I “miss” my sacrifice, I plan to ponder for a moment or a minute His’ sacrifice for me and how I can further sacrifice for others and His kingdom.  Surely doing that for 40 days will show me a little more of His ways and His plan for my life.  Pray for me in my “desert”!

On a recent snow day, I started thinking about how this will be my 20th trip to Louisville for the Kentucky Music Educators Association In-Service Conference.  Spending two or three days in Louisville for the second weekend in February has become a real part of my life, in fact…I’ve been doing that for most of my life!  I’ve even been told that while Mom was eight months along with me (1975) she was helping Chuck Campbell coordinate the All-State Band at that year’s conference! 

This will be the first conference in a while that I’m attending without significant stress.  On top of that, Shana (my wife) & Dagny (our one year-old) are coming too so it’s something to which we’ve looked forward for a while.  I wanted to take a quick trip down memory lane.  I’m sure that I’ve leaving some things out, but I’m trying to stick with my plan of posting more often.

• 1991-1st chair trombone, All-State Symphonic Band.  Ray Cramer conducted and we played two movements of the DeMeij Lord of the Rings.  To this day, that concert was my single most nervous moment in life.
• 1992-2nd trombone, All-State Orchestra.  I don’t recall the conductor, but I know we played some Mendelssohn symphony.  Boo for those trombone parts!  One of my best friends in the world (Jon Whitaker) was principal trombone and we’re actually performing together at CBDNA in a few weeks.  We were also in each others weddings!
• 1993-8th chair trombone, All-State Symphonic Band.  David Holsinger conducted and I played Ballet Sacra  really loudly.  That and we had lots of fun at the Galt House.  Matt Baucum, Adam Jeffrey…good times.
• 1994-MSU Wind Ensemble performance.  The trombone section from MSU was featured as we played Rolling Thunder.  That’s about all that I recall.  Wasn’t that in the terrible old conference room?  Awful spots for concerts.
• 1995-Bass trombone, Intercollegiate Jazz Band.  Rehearsed at UofL, cool experience, especially since I’m not really a bass trombone player.
• 1996-Bass trombone, Intercollegiate Jazz Band.  Again, back at UofL.  Little did I know the many hours of my life that I’d later spend in LL105.  (UofL for grad school, three [and counting] trips with the Kentucky Ambassadors of Music.
• 1997-MSU Trombone Choir.  I don’t really recall any of the specific pieces, but I’m sure that Mr. Conklin made us rehearse them for like 4,000 hours. 
• 1998-attended while student teaching
• 1999-UofL Wind Symphony.  I feel like we played something by Husa.  We probably played Blue Shades as well.  We played it like…4,000 times that year.
• 2000-My first real trip as a teacher.  Christi Jennings and Amanda Morris were my first two students to make All-State!
• 2001-2nd year as a teacher.  Jessamine County would pay for everything.  Ah, those were the days.
• 2002-I think by this time I was probably starting to help out with All-State a little bit.  This was probably also around the same time that the enclosed pedway was happening.  Man, that makes the whole thing possible without a jacket!  Yay for the improvements in downtown Louisville.
• 2003-4th year as a teacher.  Shana was just a few weeks from having Grainger.
• 2004-By this time I was the District 7 Band chair.  That means I was going to more meetings.
• 2005-Band Chair Elect.  My first year as Bob Elliott’s lackey.  Well, not really, but I did learn a ton…How to work the lock on the VIP room was one of them.
• 2006-Band Chair Elect.  I spent 4,000 hours sitting in on Concert Band rehearsals and I learned what Peter’s preferred drink is.  Gotta love the staff at KCA!
• 2007-State Band Chair.  This was my first year at Henderson and my first time in charge of All-State Band.  Lowell Graham and Pat Dunnigan conducted.  Oh year, our son HG was born three days before conference!  Kinda busy?
• 2008-State Band Chair & HCHS Clarinet Choir Performance.  My last year in charge of All-State, Linda Moorhouse and Steve Moore conducted.  It was also the first year that I had a group selected to play.  Those kids are awesome and I was proud.  Big kudos to Anne Wilcheck-Shuessler and Carrie White!
• 2009-HCHS Wind Ensemble Performance.  On 1/21 Dagny was born.  On 1/25 The Ice Storm hit.  On 2/5 the band performed after only rehearsing once in the previous ten days.  Still, it was an awesome experience and one I’ll never forget.
• 2010-20th anniversary!  That’s tomorrow, I’ll have to update it once it’s done.

So, in those twenty years I’ve been a part of eight performances and there’s been well over a dozen plates of Browned Butter and Mizithra cheese over spaghetti at The Old Spaghetti Factory.  Of the eleven years that I’ve taught, there have only been two without an All-State oboe player (thanks to Christi, Josh, Rebecca, & Cyndi).  There have been tons of memories from the static that builds up on Galt House stairs to the crazy crowds in the lobby of KCA between concerts. 

Twenty years from now I’ll be 54 and about to retire.  Will I have had my own children in All-State band by then?  How many more KMEA memories will I have stored up?  We’ll see!

The posts have slowed down a lot these last few months.  Maybe if I wrote shorter blogs, I would do them more often.  Here goes.

1. We’re on a snow day today.  It’s been productive around the house and in terms of spending time with the kids.  Actually, HG isn’t here.  He’s is at Shana’s mom’s place in Memphis.  He is spending the week down there, hopefully learning to go in the potty and thus allowing Shana & I to go to Louisville together unencumbered!  We’re heading to Louisville on Wednesday for the 2010 KMEA Conference.  It’s amazing just how different the house is when one kid is gone.  Having three here feels so empty.  One day, will “only four” feel empty?
2. As I said, I’m heading to Louisville on Wednesday for my 20th trip to the KMEA Conference.  My first trip was in 1991 as a member of All-State Band.  I think there’s a whole separate post there, so that can wait.
3. The basement work continues.  We’re about half way done fixing the drywall in one bedroom.  That has been a learning experience.  We also ordered $750 worth of adhesive carpet squares, and we’re about a third done with that.  I think the basement will look great when we’re done, but there’s still A LONG way to go.  Our personal goal is to have it in good shape by Spring Break…the race is on.
4. In the band world, all three bands are doing pretty well.  The two guards, two jazz bands, and indoor percussion are also off to a good start.  The biggest obstacle so far has been the inconsistency of school days!  It’s February 1st and we still haven’t had a full five-day week yet.
5. Back in August I started running.  I accompanied Shana to a 5K in Owensboro and I really started thinking all of the times and statistics were pretty neat.  She’s started running back in June and she inspired me to do something.  Well, it’s cheap and very schedule-flexible so I gave it a shot.  Since then, I’ve done four 5K’s and a 10K.  My 5K time has improved from 30:05 to 22:45 and I can almost imagine doing an under 20:00 5K.  Once every three or four weeks I’ll do a long run, I’ve made it up to 13 miles and it’s really not too painful.  Shana & I are both planning to run a Half Marathon in April, I’d like to do a full marathon in the late fall.  If you had told me six months ago that I’d be running two or three times a week, I’d say you were crazy.  Maybe…I’m crazy!

Once you’ve spent your money, it’s spent.

Here lately, I’ve been more aware of how the actions of little kids (namely, my own) have direct connections to the behaviors of adults.  In the last three or four years, the primary focus of my life has shifted from developing a band program to developing children.  I spent the first seven years of my post-college life thinking about how I could create a state renowned band program at West Jessamine High School.  That wasn’t always the only though in my head, but is was usually the dominant one.  After seven years, I just replaced the “state reknowned” with “nationally reknowned” and the West Jessamine with Henderson County.  As we’ve been blessed with more kids, though, family has become the dominant thought in my head.  Now, instead of wondering “Will we have enough clarinets for good balance in the third band?”, I wonder about things like “Why on Earth would Gus do that?”  Usually, I’ll notice some childish behavior and think to myself: “Oh, they’ll grow out of that.”  The longer I think about it, though, the more I realize that they probably won’t grow out of that.  Many of the annoying and frustrating behaviors that I see each day with my children, I also see in myself and other adults.  In fact, I think that over time I can probably write about an entire set of these connections.  So, here comes the second of the Oh, you’re such a child! series.

Every once in a while, we stop by Cracker Barrell on our way home from church for that Sunday afternoon dinner.  It’s been less often lately, though.  We all love the food, but our budget doesn’t love the bill.  I really love the Country Fried Steak, but my belly doesn’t love the extra girth.  The boys love looking at the toys, but they don’t love the fact that we never buy them any.  Well, a recent trip allowed us an extra bit of time to look at the toys because there was a fairly long wait for a table.  Actually, we didn’t even wait on the table because the boys were being so uncooperative.  You know that threat: “If you don’t mind me, we’re just going to go eat at home”?  Well, I used that threat and guess what…we went and ate at home! 

Later that afternoon, Grainger kept talking about this one toy dinosaur egg that they had at Cracker Barrel.  It one of those things that you set in water overnight, the egg dissolves/hatches, and the next morning you’ve got a little rubber dinosaur sitting in the bowl of water.  He had gotten one in the past, but he was wondering if you could just break the egg open without any water and get the toy.  I explained to him that we had enough money to buy it, but it wasn’t something that we needed and that we weren’t going to get it for him.  Then, the idea popped into his head.  “Hey, what about MY money that I have in MY bank?” he said.  “Well, you can spend that money if you want.” I told him.  The boys have their own little banks with some change and crinkled one-dollar bills.  Well, of course, that settled the matter.  That egg would be Grainger’s.  In his eyes, I could see the sudden awareness of his own monetary powers.  I think the voice in his sweet and maturing little head was plotting: “The egg will be mine.  Oh yes, it will be mine.”  Now, before you move on to the next paragraph, read that last quote again in a Montgomery Burns voice.  Don’t know who Montgomery Burns is?  In shame, you need to watch more of the Simpsons.

Grainger, Gus, & I all went back to the toy brokerage (Cracker Barrel) for our purchases.  Both boys had brought around $5 from their banks.  We spent quite a while looking over all of the toys and most of the candy before we settled.  Grainger needed to have that dinosaur egg, but I explained to him that it would take all of his money: once he bought that egg he wouldn’t have any money left.  We were going to Wal-Mart after we left Cracker Barrel and they might see something fun there, right?  Gus was pretty excited about a piece of candy that would leave him with money to spare, so we all went to the cash register to complete the mission.  Both boys were satisfied and excited, neither one was particularly happier than the other.  They were both pretty pleased with their purchases.

Once we got to Wal-Mart, I had promised them some time to look at the toys.  Gus loves looking at Thomas the Tank Engine stuff and Grainger is really into bikes right now.  Certainly, both boys found other items that they really wanted, Grainger was out of money and Gus still had some.  Gus bought his new Thomas toy and Grainger had to do without.  On the way home, Grainger cracked open his egg, got the toy and was then left with no money, a cheap dinosaur, and a messy lap.

Now, this was a great lesson for a six year-old.  Watching this unfold, Grainger now gets an allowance.  The allowance isn’t for doing jobs around the house.  It’s as a teaching tool for him to learn about money.  He’s getting $3 a week.  Ten percent goes to church, forty percent goes to his savings bank, and he gets to spend the rest.  However much he’s able to save by 16, we’ll match that for him to buy his first car.  We stole the plan from Dave Ramsey and he’s been taking it pretty seriously for the last month.

Still, we’re talking about a six year-old.  Is this not a behavior that most of America’s adults exhibit daily.  I do not want to offend anyone, so I won’t use specific examples, but dude, those examples are everywhere.  Just like a child, grown-ups fall in to the trap far too often.  The trap is set like this: spend more money than you should for an impulse thing that you want right now…leave your self without enough money for the thing that you need in two weeks.  How often do we (myself included here!) spend money on another meal at a restaraunt when eating at home would be faster/healthier/CHEAPER?  Then, two weeks later, we’re using the gas from the lawnmower can to get an extra twenty miles out of the truck.  If it sounds like I’ve learned that lesson first hand…

Do any of you know someone with an iPhone and a significant SUV payment, yet making the rent is tough?  I could easily list a dozen students that claim they just don’t have the money for the $4 reeds in the school bookstore, yet they were getting the expensive footlongs at Subway the day before, NOT the $5 ones.  Do you know folks that “need” unlimited texting, high speed internet, satellite TV, satellite radio, and a 2008 truck?  Do some of those same folks always talk about how tough times are and how they just can’t afford to    (fill in your own blank)   .  That is likely a case of having your needs  and your wants  mixed up.  Grainger thought he needed that egg, but really he just wanted it. 

Now, I’ve rolled pennies to get through the end of the month more than once and each time is because I’ve spent money unwisely earlier in the pay period.  I will say, though, that Shana & I began really budgeting in October ‘08 and that has made a huge difference in the ends of our months.  We were blessed to have been reading and listening to Dave Ramsey before we were even out of college, so the idea of “living like no one else, so that later we can live like no one else” didn’t mean changing our ways.  It was simply how we began. 

Disclaimer: Credit for our financial standing goes to what we’ve learned from our parents, Dave Ramsey, and mostly to God.  We have old cars, a messy basement, and phones that are older than most of our kids, but we are trying to keep our wants and needs in order.  We have been faithful in tithing from our first fruits and God has NEVER failed to provide for our needs.  Never.

Does that mean God doesn’t allow us to make some silly childish mistakes?  Of course not!  I make foolish decisions with money each and every day, but I’m trying to be more of a “grown-up” with money and realize that there’s just only so much of it.  Once you’ve spent it…it’s gone!  That sounds so simple, but is it?

So, I know it’s been months since my last blog.  I haven’t had a lot of time, but I honestly haven’t had the desire either.  This weekend I do have the time, so I’m trying to muster the desire.  I’m at a conducting clinic at WKU and Shana & the kids are heading to Memphis to spend the weekend with NaNa and Papa Hugh.  I was able to eat a quick lunch on campus, so now I’ve got some time to work.

Speaking of lunch on campus: undergrad is such an awesome time of a person’s life.  I spent five busy years at Murray State and they were truly some of the most fun/tiring/memorable years of my thrity-four.  I ate in one of WKU’s food courts and was able to watch these kids.  A few years ago, undergrads didn’t seem like kids, I was too close to their age, but now…they are kids.  Another familiar image was the undergrad nodding-to-sleep/fighting-to-stay-awake during the 8:30 Friday morning session.  Oh, do I recall that miserable feeling of fighting off sleep during the 8:30 class.  Yikes!  Mostly, seeing all of these kids today makes me excited for when my own students (and especially my own children!) get to live this fun time.  I’ve already had lots of students head off to school and do a great job.  Most have lived the fun that I had, some have lived a little too much of the fun, and a few have even completed a music degree.  In fact, I bet some of you are reading this now!  Happy Birthday Bethy!  Where will Grainger, Gus, HG, and Dagny go to school?  I’d love to have at least one end up in the 42071 and at least one end up at 300 North Broadway.

Just a quick thought, but it relates a little bit to my recent lack of desire.  I’ll try to be succinct, but it’s one of human kind’s toughest struggles so I’m not sure how quick I’ll make it. 

Let’s say you’re eating cake for dessert every meal.  Cake is pretty good, etc., etc.  You could have pie, but you’ve never considered it because you really enjoy the cake.  You can’t have both…at least I don’t think you can.  Something happens involving your cake to make you question it being the right dessert for you.  It’s kind of a shock and it has shaken the entire way you approach dessert and you can even see that it is affecting the way you eat the rest of your meal.  Now, you are faced with deciding between cake and pie.  Cake or pie, that’s the question, right? 

Of course, you spend time in prayer asking God for guidance.  Events happen along the way, some days you think: “That pie would be so much better, why would anyone eat cake?”  Then, just a few hours later you’re saying: “I must be crazy, this is the best cake for me I would be so disappointed in pie.”  After nine weeks, you are still questioning.  It’s obvious that something is moving you to question dessert, but what is moving you?

God may be saying this: “Steven & Shana are meant for pie.  Cake has served it’s role in their lives and now they need to further serve me and fulfill my will in their lives through pie”.  If it’s God putting these questions on my heart, then it’s an easy call: put down the cake and eat pie.

On the other hand, what if Satan is saying this: “Steven & Shana are about to do great things for God’s kingdom by eating cake.  I need to make them question cake and consider pie.  I’ll place every obstacle that I can in their way, so they’ll quit eating cake.”  If it’s Satan putting these questions on my heart, then it’s also an easy call: keep eating cake, it’s only going to get better.

So you see, the question isn’t really cake or pie.  The question is who’s making you question dessert.  How do you know if you are living in God’s will? 

Suggestions are welcome, but prayers are needed.

The Henderson County Wind Ensemble has been invited to perform at the Southern Division meeting of the College Band Directors National Association/National Band Association.  It’s a three-day conference at the University of Mississippi in February.  We were invited along with five university bands and four other high schools from across the South: two from Florida, one from Alabama, and one from Tennessee.  I’m proud of the kids, especially considering that the other four high schools are either from big-time college towns (Tallahassee, Knoxville, Tuscaloosa) or a well-off suburban community (Satellite Beach).  It’s probably the biggest honor yet for an HCHS band, but now the tough challenge comes: what do we play?

 When we played for the KMEA conference last year, two of the pieces (Overture to Candide & Raise the Roof) were SO demanding technically, we never really got to the “music” in them.  We also didn’t get a “clean” sounding recording and that’s something that I really want to get out of this performance.  So, what do we play?

Here are some factors: we have some strong sections and some…not so strong sections in the band.  The clarinets and horns are remarkable.  We also have an All-State oboe, tuba, percussionist, and probably a few trumpets.  There could be more in All-State, but those that I mentioned are very good bets.  Another huge variable involves my brother.  You see, he is an E-4 musician with the US Army, stationed with his lovely wife and hilarious son in Heidelberg, Germany.  Like, the coolest thing ever, would be like, if he could perform a trombone concerto with the Hendo Band.  For real.  He’s earned a Master’s in trombone from IU, so he’s not too shabby and he’s…you know…my brother.  So, yeah.  Doing a movement or two of the DeMeij T-Bone Concerto would just be awesome, but we’re not sure if he can get away from schönes Deutschland to come to the States for a week.  We’ll see.

Here are some potential pieces, feel free to suggest others.

• Awayday, Adam Gorb-I’ve always loved this piece.  It may be over our flutes’ heads, though.
• Symphony #6, Vincent Persichetti-My favorite of the big symphonies.  I like it better than Hindemith, Lincolnshire Posy, you name it.  It may be too much for too long.
• Bayou Breakdown, Brant Karrick-Great clarinet piece by a friend of Keith & mine.
• NEW PIECE, John Fannin-Hopefully, we’ll be able to work out a commission to get Mr. Fannin to write a new piece for the Hendo Band to premiere.  My best memories from college are due to this man’s impact on Racer Band, plus his stuff is exciting to play!
• beautiful old ballad, great composer-this could be Blessed are They, Salvation is Created, something by Grainger, I don’t know…
• a march-we have to play a march, right?  I think we’re Sousaed-out after last year.  That is a noun, right?  I’d love to do Commando March, but we could fall back on a Fillmore or King.
• Hip, New Piece-This could be one of the John Mackey pieces or something by Ticheli.  If Awayday works, we probably won’t do this one.
• T-Bone Concerto, Johan DeMeij-If Alan (my brother) can come play, this would be my first choice.

So what are your thoughts?

1. I got to teach 6/8 rhythms to 3rd period, always a good time.  They picked it up pretty well, too!  Concert Band is way ahead of last year’s pace.
2. I was able to come home and have a quick lunch with the family.  Well, Grainger wasn’t there, but Teri & Lorelei Teesdale were there.  Grainger was at school where he got moved to a “green card” for beat-boxing in class.
3. Wind Ensemble sight-read the first movement of the Gregson Tuba Concerto.  Brandon Burke (12th grader) just nailed it.  I’m looking forward to hearing him show off on the fall concert!
4. Symphonic Band played with TONS more confidence.  Working on Mae’s horn concerto (Morceau de Concert:Saint-Saens), they struggled on Wednesday, but were getting to work today.
5. Marching Band got through the first 5 minutes of the show marching and playing.  There were some moments that were pretty good.  Even though the kids were tired and dragging, they were at least paying attention and strangely quiet.  I’ll take it…
6. One of my favorite kids ever got the guard together for a heart-to-heart following rehearsal.  The guard looks very good standing still, they just need more work with the drill to get it going on the move.  I loved seeing L-Go stand up and take charge, that may be just what was needed!
7. Over 60 parents at a booster meeting.  That’s all I need to say about that!
8. Gus has been in bed for 20 minutes, he’s still not asleep.  He just walked down the hall to go potty.  He stuck his head out of the bathroom telling me to come and kill a spider that was in the tub.  I told him: “Gus, that spider’s not going to bother you.”  “Dad, I know.  I’m going to bother him!”

It’s been a while since I’ve posted a “Thoughts from…”, so I’m glad to work on one off and on today.  Certainly, these are some of the easiest pieces to write and the most convenient for my lifestyle.  With four kids and a busy job, the opportunity to sit down at a computer for a full hour is seldom, but being able to sit down for fifteen minutes is actually pretty common.  When writing a longer piece, I really need to sit there for a while and let the thoughts develop, but these lend themselves well to write-a-little-now-and-then composition.  In fact, as soon as I finish this sentence, I plan on going to wipe jelly off of Gus & HG’s faces.

1. Tonight is the third Evansville Symphonic Band concert.  This is a professional band made up of outstanding musicians from the Tri-State area.  Most are music teachers, but many are professional musicians and it’s simply the best band of which I’ve ever been a part.  There is a higher level of musicianship and excellence than any college bands while I was at Murray or Louisville and it’s such a great experience to sit down and rehearse awesome music for just a few minutes then perform a full concert.  This concert is cool because two of the pieces are ones that I know well as a conductor, but I’ve never had the opportunity to perform as a trombone player.  Cajun Folk Songs was performed by the West Jessamine band in 2002 and by the Henderson County Symphonic band in 2007.  Symphonic Dance #3 was played by the Henderson County Symphonic Band just a few weeks ago!  It’s a different experience coming to these great compositions having “known” them first from behind the score.
2. We’ve had two meetings with the drill writer and guard teacher.  I have really high hopes for the marching show this year, the music is coming together really well, I think it is well suited for us.  The opener is written and the third movement is in the final stages.  There will be several unique aspects to the show this year, hopefully the kind of things that make it memorable for the performer AND the audience.  The biggest thing will be the 40 tensa-barriers that we’ll have on the field.  There will be hundreds of options for using these within our show and we’ve already got ideas.  The biggest question will be, how do we get these made and in the manner that we need?  Along with that, the ballad will be about one guard member trying to get her balloons back as they are “passed around” the band.  Fun stuff!  It all begins in three weeks, I’ve got mixed feelings about that.
3. On Tuesday, I get to go and judge a DCI show in Columbus, OH.  It is a great line-up and I’m looking forward to hearing the groups.  It will be a quick flight in and out, so I won’t even be gone from home for a full 24 hours.  Hopefully, I can give the corps some good feedback and get a couple of double-tapes so that I can go back and listen to myself.  That’s one of the toughest things to do, but most helpful, too.
4. I thought I had the band’s schedule all figured out for 2009-2010.  Then, I got an email on Friday, though that changes the testing dates.  Because of that, a great concert band competition isn’t going to be an option.  I had hoped to go a festival in Chattanooga in late-April.  This is close enough to make it a school bus trip, not a charter bus trip.  What’s the difference, you ask?  Well about $200.  Taking school buses means a trip can be around $200 and affordable to most any student that wants to go.  Taking charter buses raises the cost to $400 or more and that excludes dozens of students on the typical year.  We’re planning to go to NYC in 2011, so an inexpensive trip in 2010 in needed.  School buses limits us to St. Louis, Cincinnati, or the mountain area.  The most frustrating thing is that this email appears to have arrived in our school district four weeks ago, but it didn’t get passed along to the schools until three days ago.  Now the band calendar that I had sent to every teacher in the building has to change…  I was pretty frustrated at that four week lag.  In fact, thinking about it right now is frustrating to me even more…  I should move on.  I may write an entire blog about band trips in a week or two.  I wrote this one back in 2008, but it was geared a little more specifically towards the Florida trip.
5. We had the first guard rehearsal with Stephen Ferguson on Tuesday last week.  It was different, but very positive.  Finding new guard teachers is always a stressful/finger-crossed situation for a band teacher.  Thinking back: Sarah, Skip, Shereen, Jessica, Joni, Sarah, Stephen.  What’s the deal with S & J named guard teachers?  Some of these relationships have worked out very well, some pretty good, and some didn’t work out at all.  I have a good feeling about Stephen and I hope the positive momentum that has built with the guard over the last few months will continue.  This year’s show is going to have TONS of “guard moments” I hope these girls are up to it.  Not having Sarah involved on any level is tough and a big change, but these students are great ones and I have a lot of faith in them!
6. Finally, it’s Father’s Day.  This is my first Father’s Day with four kids.  Will it be my last with four kids?  We’ll see, but probably not.  Anyway, my father is James Anthony Page, but everyone knows him as Tony.  About 99% of the father that I am today is due to him, so if you think I’m doing a good job, credit goes to him, NOT ME.  He’s now known as Pop, but he’ll always be Dad to me.    

But you never wanted that before!

Here lately, I’ve been more aware of how the actions of little kids (namely, my own) have direct connections to the behaviors of adults.  In the last three or four years, the primary focus of my life has shifted from developing a band program to developing children.  I spent the first seven years of my post-college life thinking about how I could create a state renowned band program at West Jessamine High School.  That wasn’t always the only though in my head, but is was usually the dominant one.  After seven years, I just replaced the “state renowned” with “nationally renowned” and the West Jessamine with Henderson County.  As we’ve been blessed with more kids, though, family has become the dominant thought in my head.  Now, instead of wondering “Will we have enough clarinets for good balance in the third band?”, I wonder about things like “Why on Earth would Gus do that?”  Usually, I’ll notice some childish behavior and think to myself: “Oh, they’ll grow out of that.”  The longer I think about it, though, the more I realize that they probably won’t grow out of that.  Many of the annoying and frustrating behaviors that I see each day with my children, I also see in myself and other adults.  In fact, I think that over time I can probably write about an entire set of these connections.  So, here comes the first of the Oh, you’re such a child! series.

Often, Shana and I will go on a toy purge.  There will be parts broken, missing, or chewed beyond recognition.  That means the toy makes its’ way to craig’s list, ebay, recycling, or…the dump.  Over the years, we’ve purged quite a few toys.  In fact, if I could trade in Happy Meal toys for a nickel, I could probably retire a year early!  McDonald’s needs to offer some “green meal” so that it’s a little less plastic to remain sitting in the corner of our mini-van for months until we actually clean it out.  Really , Ronald, you should think about it.  It’s been at least a year since any of our kids have given a rat’s behind for any of those toys/marketing tools.  Anyway, whenever we do get rid of something, it’s the very next day when the (insert child’s name) comes into the room weeping real tears about how sad they are that they can’t find (insert cheap & broken toy).  Here’s the conversation: 

“Babe, what’s the matter?” 

“I ca’ fine my payse man…[nose sniff]” 

“Which space man?  You have dozens.” 

“The boo one”

“Buddy, the blue one was broken and he just had one arm.  You haven’t played with him since we lived in Nicholasville.”

“BUT I LOVE HIM!”

Now, heaven forbid this child consider the entire basement full  of toys, the one acre yard, the friends in the neighborhood, the loving mom and dad, the awesome grandparents, a good church home, good schools, the hundreds of band kids/babysitters that adore them, and remarkably blessed health.  No.  This child sees no point in continuing this miserable life because the blue, broken space man is no longer in the corner of the big plastic tub with the marker lids, cricket leg, and random marble.

That whole scenario sounds a little childish to you right?  But, is it really?  Aren’t we as adults and teenagers guilty of the same thing?  Do we take things for granted until they are gone, then cry and complain because we no longer have them?  Whether it be family, health, a relationship, or a well-suited situation we need to do a better job of appreciating the good things and realizing when it’s time to let them go, if no longer of any use.

I see both frequently in relationships.  Folks will have a good relationship with a friend or spouse, but not give full value to just how good it is.  Just because it becomes common-place, doesn’t mean a true love is common.  The longer I’m with Shana, the more convinced I am that our relationship has become common-place as a part of our lives for more than sixteen years (we started dating in 1993), but it’s far from common.  In fact it’s quite uncommon.  If you have a special boy/girlfriend or the perfect bff that you’ve started to take for granted, STOP!  Good & healthy relationships are a blessing from God and shouldn’t be neglected.  I also see people, teenagers mostly, holding on to a broken relationship that’s no longer healthy or fun.  Just as the blue space man had lost an arm and wasn’t good for a child to use as a toy, many kids seem to linger in a relationship that adds more frustration to their lives than joy.  Strong, healthy relationships enhance our life, not detract or distract.  If a relationship is better off sitting in the corner of a toy bin, it’s time to throw than toy out. 

We should do a better job today of noticing the people in our lives that enhance them and not miss an opportunity to spend time with them.  Don’t let a toy purge remind you to play with something you love.

Shana & I had this idea a few weeks ago and tonight is my first time to try it out.  We thought that during the month of June each boy should have their own, individual time out with Mom/Dad.  Grainger, Gus, & HG all get their one-on-one time with each parent, so…3 boys x 2 parents=6 events.  In the life of a high school band director, June is the easiest month and there are lots of opportunities for great family time.  We’ve seen, though, that there’s a special bond and relationship that develops when it is one kid, one parent time as opposed to all six of us together.  We are serious budgeters, so we added in $120 to the June budget specifically for the trips.  For those of you in Rio Linda (catch that reference?) that’s $20 per outing.

Gus & Mom had their trip last week.  The plan was to go see the Thomas movie, but the website had the times wrong and that didn’t pan out.  Shana is great at changing plans and good ole Gus is flexible so they still made a memorable day out together.  The enthralling subject of mini-golf comes up at least once a day in our house, so this was the perfect time for Gus to give it a shot.  According to Shana, he is more of a hit-once, then guide your ball to the hole kind of golfer.  I think for a four year old, that is just fine.  Plus, Shana is pretty competitive at things life mini-golf and bowling, so it’s probably best for Gus that he wasn’t really going by the rules.  That allowed to Shana to win!  After a round of golf, the two brown-eyed beauties went to the small door McDonald’s.  Even though McDonald’s restaraunts may all seem the same to many of you; to a four-year-old, they aren’t.  In Evansville, there’s a McDonald’s near the intersection of Green River Road and Washington Avenue that has an indoor playground.  There are two doors leading from the dining room to the play area, one is standard and the other is only three feet tall.  Because of this, it’s the coolest McDonald’s ever.  Even though the playground is tiny and the food is the same as McDonald’s around the world, it’s still the cooler than all of the rest. 

Tonight is the Grainger & Dad event.  As a star in the Baskett Recreational League of coach pitch basball, Grainger is starting to get a little more into sports, so we are going to see the Evansville Otters play.  They are a professional baseball team in Evansville and we’re both excited.  He gets to decide on dinner and I think he’s leaning towards CiCi’s pizza.  Having two kids that are allergic to milk and a wife that is a lifetime member of Weight-Watchers doesn’t lend itself to very many pizza buffets.  When Grainger & I have the chance to eat together, that seems to be the destination!  More than the events, though, it will be great to have time with him.  Thinking of all the things that get our children’s attention (school, internet, pbs, neighborhood kids) the more influence that we can have, the better. 

It will be a fun night, really I think all of these events will be a blast.  Even twenty-five and thirty years later I recall one-on-one time with my parents.  I can recall very few specific events from elementary school, but I clearly recall the time that I spent with Mom & Dad.  I am pretty certain that those times helped make me Steven Page.  I remember eating breakfast with Dad at Skinheads (it was a Paducah diner…) and going out to the flying field (the local crashing grounds for model airplane hobbyists).  I remember staying in a cabin one night at Rough River State Park and going hang gliding in Georgia, but I think the hang gliding trip was more like middle school.  With Mom, I remember going to Fulton to visit family and I remember one night at the Paducah Symphony Orchestra.  I think we left at intermission and went out to Holiday Inn for pie. 

It’s pretty crazy to think Shana & I will do as great a job parenting as ours did, but we are certain that in God’s plan, we are the perfect parents for these four kids.  When God blessed us with Grainger Eugene, Lane Augustus, Horace Godfrey, and Dagny Marie He knew exactly what he was doing.  We’re certainly not perfect parents, but we’re the perfect parents for them.  Of course, Grainger will be carrying his glove, ready to catch a ball.  I’ll be looking at the bricks and thinking about when we make our first trip to Wrigley together!

Update: Shana and HG just headed off Mesker Park Zoo and lunch out together!  This is HG’s first trip to a zoo and his first Day Out with Mom since Dagny was born, should be a fun time.

Update 2: Gus and I had a great morning for our event.  First we dropped the van off at Ewing Tire on Green Street.  (They’re one of the band’s corporate sponsors!)  We then walked to Hagan’s mini-golf and “played” a round.  After that, lunch at Ralph’s, candy from D&M, pick up the van with new tires, and drive down to the river for some rock throwing.  We played on the caboose and then checked the model train layout inside The Depot building.

Update 3: Shana & Grainger went on a creek adventure.  They found an old creek out in the bottoms past Beals and wnet exploring.  After that, there was a $5 footlong and some time by the lake at Audubon Park where they found two tiny frogs and made a habitat in a jar for them.